Timing is everything.
I’ve had a pretty intense couple of weeks recently. As an artist, my career spans an ocean of inconsistency, waves of highs and lows. My calendar is full one year and vacant the next. At times, I’m challenged with work, and other times, I coast in reflective lulls. Sometimes, certain conflicts or untimely events are out of our control. Sometimes, we’re left to make difficult decisions that may affect us as working performers. I’m constantly told “no” in a sea of rejection and I’m used to this. I can handle those. Turning something down is another story entirely. I always try to say “yes,” and rarely do I say “no” …to anything.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m being vague and allusive, but I’ve had to make a hard decision recently. These things just happen.
It’s with a heavy heart that I’ve decided to not participate in the Hawaii Performing Arts Festival this Summer as planned. A family member of mine is undergoing an extensive medical procedure and I thought it best to remain home at this time. Innately, I know it’s the right decision. The HPAF team was EXTREMELY understanding and that was very important to me. They were immensely supportive and welcomed the opportunity for me to sing with them in the future.
I prepped, I rehearsed, I studied. I maintained my process, but things changed. Family is important to me. I wouldn’t be the artist that I am today without the support of my nuclear family. They need me at this point, just as I’ve needed them in the past.
As artists, we’re so hyper-focused on the presentation, the happenings, the stories told in front of the curtain…on the stage…in front of an audience. Rarely, do we allow others to peek behind the curtain and see us for the humans that we are and the reality that we make tough decisions.
Overall, I’m immensely disappointed by the idea that I won’t be able to perform this pivotal, beautifully-written, timely role of Hannah After in As One. I am aware, however, that there will be other opportunities to sing this role and hopefully perform many others. That’s the beauty of making art. It’s always moving forward.
In any case, I’ve included a link to the video of a song that resonates with me at this moment. It’s one of my favorites. Daybreak from the opera, Three Decembers.