I feel like I’ve been reaching forever, but what else can I do? I’m finally at a point in my career where the paintings I’m producing are the best they’ve ever been consistently. During this pathway of working to become a professional artist the last 13 yrs. has had its ups and downs. I lost my house, been unemployed, at times worked two jobs, got married to a wonderful woman and gained a child, watched my first baby be born. I’ve gone from showing in restaurants and bars to showing in galleries, realized I wanted to be a painter not an illustrator, lost friends and three cars. I mean those are just normal things, right? All on this quest to become a professional artist. And then my grandfather died.
It changed my perspective on things. It seems like when we had conversations all he always said in some form or fashion was that he believed in me. With his death was kind of the whole awakening that time is fleeting and that we are here to enjoy one another and enjoy the process of life, the pain with the joy. I stopped hesitating. I mean time is constantly passing and you never know when your time is going to come. You’ve got to take chances. People are always so self-defeating, saying that they can’t do something, saying that you can’t do something or that you’ll never be able to make a living doing what you want to do to make a living. And really that’s all bullshit. People are always doing things others said they couldn’t. It’s like a rebellious attitude. It’s just whether you want to put the work in. No one said the journey will be easy but if it’s worth doing you will stay with it. I mean if you’re willing to buy a lotto ticket then you should be willing to bet on yourself. So, for me my motivation is to be able to make my life work the way I want it to work. It’s actually just that simple. It took me a long time to understand that if you want your life to be a certain way, own it, then figure out how to do it.